Now on the market! Tampons for transgender quasi-women, because our society has not fallen deep enough into the cultural cesspool

By Thomas Madison
Wondering what to buy your college buddy who has taken “getting in touch with his feminine side” to the ultimate extreme, turning himself into a quasi-woman? Just in time for Christmas, Sappho-Luxe introduces Fem-Flo, the first transgender tampon, specifically designed for the discriminating he-she, bravely navigating the transition to some freakish adaptation of womanhood.
I have to wonder what the difference is between a regular female tampon and the Fem-Flo transgender version. Actually, I really don’t want to know. I haven’t eaten lunch yet.
From Priscilla Mason, United Media Publishing
The product comes in 3 designs. “Fem-Flo Petite” is for the trans-woman who is still working to achieve maximum dilation, yet still wants to produce menses. “Fem-Flo Intermediate” provides dilation and an average amount of menstruation. And last, but not least, the “Fem-Flo Lush” for the trans-woman who wishes to enjoy “heavy” menstruation.
“Our product is designed to give post-op trans-gender women the full-spectrum experience of menstruation. You don’t have to be deprived of the beautiful and womanly occurrence of menstruation merely because you were born without uterus. The Fem-Flo’s cotton core contains a small, vegetable-based capsule which upon reaching body temperature releases the “menses” contained within. It also aids in keeping the post-op canal conditioned and dilated after surgery and beyond.”
Fem-Flo tampons will come in boxes of 25 and cost around $19.99 per box. Sappho-Luxe will begin shipping their product to major grocery stores nationwide next month.



