By Thomas Madison

Breakthrough insomnia cure discovered! Total Zero, by Jeb Bush.

Donald Trump is right again, except “low energy” is an understatement.¬†Inspiring this crowd to tears, the pain is visible on the faces of those in the audience. Watch closely and you can see the guy in the glasses mouth, “Please, Father, take me now!” No one is looking at Mister Charisma, no one is listening to him, and it is clear that no one wants to be there.

As most of the listeners (that’s a stretch) scan their surroundings for an exit strategy, the lady in the baseball cap takes advantage of the opportunity to catch a few winks. She remarked after the event that Mr. Bush was extremely talented, and asked if he would mind coming to her house that night to read her kids a bedtime story.

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How the hell did this guy ever get elected governor? It could only be in the one state where the average resident sleeps 18 hours a day. Old people love naps…. and they vote. It’s the little things.