Michelle Obama gave an inspiring inciteful two-part commencement address at Tuskegee University over the weekend. The first part of her speech (first video, below) presumably named, “If Only You Could Be As Wonderful As Me,” broke the old record for the number of “mes” and “Is” used in an official address, set in 2014 by her husband, Barrack Hussein.

Setting the tone for her speech from the outset, Ms. The One declared, “I didn’t start out as the fully-firm-formed First Lady who stands before you today. NO! NO! I had my share of bumps along the way.” Like getting set-aside (Affirmitive Action) admission to prestigious Ivy League universities. Like having Jesse Jackson arrange a job for $375,000 a year where if you didn’t show up for weeks on end no one would know or care or even miss you.

Flanked by bookend bobbleheads disguised as academics, Ms. Hussein jumped straight into the meat of her address, reminding the brand spanking new graduates of the University of Diversity, which surprisingly has five whole white students enrolled (out of 2,584 total students) that no matter what troubles they have to overcome in the future to always remember it is whitey’s fault. In spite of the racist, privileged white trash outside the gates of the university they will overcome and become shining examples of black society.

Wishing the new grads the best of luck in this racist country, the First Racist warned, “They (whitey) will make assumptions about who they think you are based on their limited notion of the world.” In more honest words…. whitey is not only blind and racist, but also stupid! She then listed all the incredibly difficult things that only black students have to do to get to Graduation Day, like studying, working at a part-time job, and I have no idea where this came from, “the time you had to drive home and take care of yo’ grandma.” Whatever! I’m sure glad that as a privileged whitey my grandfather was thoughtful enough to take care of my grandmother and I never had to hold more than two part-time jobs at a time to make it to graduation.

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Channeling her best Al Sharpton, Ms. The One pointed out to the new graduates that regardless of how stellar their achievements in life, whitey would always have his boot on their necks. Whined our First Lady, who has the privilege of living in our White House, a privilege that very, very few white people will ever experience, a privilege made possible by white voters, “no matter how far you rise in life, how hard you work to be a good person, a good parent, a good citizen…. for some folks (whitey) it will never be enough …. folks feel frustrated and invisible, and those feelings are playing out in communities like Baltimore and Ferguson,” where the frustration led to the removal of all of the high-dollar basketball shoes from the sporting goods stores.

And the bobbleheads went wild.