By Thomas Madison

Whooda’ thunk that a guy who named his kid North West would have a hard time managing a bazillion dollar fortune?

Kanye be broke! He is begging the rich, the mega-rich, and his “brothers” for help. He is begging Mark Zuckerberg and Larry Page (Google) and anyone who will contribute to this obviously worthy cause.

Hey, I know, Kanye, why don’t you and Kim have a bake sale? Have you contacted Taylor Swift to see if she can spot you a little scratch? OK, bad idea. Kardashian family wet T-shirt car wash? I heard Kim has tremendous booty. I guess that means she’s rich, right? Maybe she can help you with a little booty.

I’d love to help you my brother, but my Bentley is being detailed and I can’t get to the bank. You know how it is.


The family booty

From Us Weekly

As Us Weekly reported previously, The Life of Pablo hitmaker had revealed the extent of his personal debt during a Twitter rant the day before, asking fans to pray that he can overcome his financial crisis.

By Sunday, the controversial rapper, who’s been making headlines this past week thanks to his NSFW Taylor Swift lyrics, was back online, but this time he’d figured out a solution to his debt issues — and Zuckerberg, it seemed, was the answer.

“Mark Zuckerberg I know it’s your bday but can you please call me by 2mrw…” the 38-year-old dad-of-two tweeted. “You love hip hop, you love my art… I am your favorite artist but you watch me barely breathe and still play my album in your house…”

“World, please tweet, FaceTime, Facebook, instagram, whatever you gotta do to get Mark to support me…” Kim Kardashian‘s husband ranted on.

“I’m this generation’s Disney… I want to bring dope s–t to the world… I don’t have enough resources to create what I really can,” he added.

And in case Zuckerberg hadn’t fully understood the point West was trying to make, he went on.

“Mark, I am publicly asking you for help…one of the coolest things you could ever do is to help me in my time of need,” the rapper blasted out. “I will always respect you for that and the world will love you. I know I can make the world a better place… I have done the impossible… I retook the throne of rap… I beat the fashion game…”

And if Zuckerberg wasn’t listening, hey, Google Inc.’s Larry Page would do. If only he’d stop spending quite so much money building schools in Africa.

“Hey Larry Page I’m down for your help too,” West added. “All you dudes in San Fran play rap music in your homes but never help the real artists. You’d rather open up one school in Africa like you really helped the country…if you want to help… help me…”

Then turning his plea to the small everyday players in his fund drive….