By Thomas Madison

Barrack Hussein dazzled his (likely hand-picked) audience with the warm and fuzzy language of equal pay for women, apparently forgetting that his own administration is woefully negligent in this regard, paying male members of his administration much more than their female counterparts:

From The Washington Post – July, 2014: The average male White House employee currently earns about $88,600, while the average female White House employee earns about $78,400, according to White House data released Tuesday. That is a gap of 13 percent.

Our ever-so-clever Panderer-in-Chief highlighted his phony case for more pay for women, pouting pointing out that Michelle Obama receives no pay at all, which is directly and exactly proportionate to what she deserves as she has no official duties and responsibilities at all.

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Whined The One:

Let me tell you, now, Michelle would point out First Ladies get paid nothing. (patronizing, forced laughter) So there’s clearly not equal pay in the White House when it comes to her and me. But before we were in the White House, I wanted to make sure Michelle got paid as much as she could. (more faux laughter) I want a big paycheck for Michelle. (many yucks from the likely hand-picked audience) That wasn’t a women’s issue. If she had a bigger paycheck, that made us able to pay the bills. (and the crowd of women goes wild!) Why would I want my spouse or my daughter discriminated against? That doesn’t make any sense.

So this should be a no-brainer. And hopefully we’ll — we’re just going to keep on pushing until the light bulb goes off above the heads of some of these Republican friends of mine (implying, I reckon, that Congress should authorize Michelle a fat paycheck for vacationing in high style and strutting the Uptown Funk with Ellen).

Newsflash, Barrack! Have you seen your wife’s job description? I didn’t think so. That’s because it doesn’t exist. Starving schoolchildren is not a job. Michelle could lay in bed all day, every day, eating Bon Bons and watching Oprah reruns and she would not be derelict of her duties… because she has none. Do you have any idea how many official duties your wife has? None. Nada. Niente. Zip. Zilch. Zefuckinro! And that is exactly how much pay she deserves.