By Thomas Madison
I get emails from Canadian Cruz just about daily, all begging for money. I typically delete them without opening. However I received a fine piece of work from the Canadian this morning, and would like to share it with you.
Before I get to Senor Cruz’s letter, I would like to point out that Donald Trump has never emailed me, asking for a dime, even though I did send him an unsolicited donation on my own once. He has, however, made money for me, tweeting one of my articles to the world a few months ago.
The Canadian is terrified. In the face of his humiliating defeat in the state of New York values, Cruz reports that The Donald is pumping $20 million dollars into his campaign to destroy the Canadian. My first question is, “Why did you wait so long, Donald?” Timing, I reckon. I trust Trump’s judgement. He didn’t become a multi-bazillionaire making bad decisions.
Did SCOTUS make the right decision on medical mandates for large businesses?
Smells like desperation to me. Have the chickens finally come home to roost for Canadian Cruz? I sure hope so. The last thing we need in our White House is a phony Christian, inexperienced junior senator, career government parasite, who has never had a minute of executive experience, let alone P&L executive experience. That is exactly what we have in the White House now, and it sucks!
From Senor Canadian Cruz (with my own thoughts in bold purple)
You may have heard — Donald Trump won New York last night.
Pray tell! I had no idea!
As I write you, Politico is breaking the news that Donald Trump has just committed $20 Million dollars to his campaign — a move calculated to crush my campaign and wrestle the nomination away from Conservative Americans.
Stop the hand wringing and nail biting. You are embarrassing yourself.
You also have probably heard that Hillary has also already raised well over $100 million for her campaign.
Then why are you bothering me? She has more money than me. Beg her for a handout.
Both Trump and Clinton are used to throwing money around and using it to get whatever they want.
Thomas, I’m now in the middle of a big-money firestorm, with Hillary Clinton on one side and Donald Trump on the other.
I’m quite literally fighting for my political life, and your response to this email will determine the success of this campaign and ultimately the direction of our country for years to come.
So, I’m personally asking you one more time: will you help me unite the GOP and take on Donald Trump and his friend Hillary Clinton? Will you make an urgent gift to help me compete with Donald Trump’s billions?
I know I have asked a lot of you in the course of this campaign, but if I can’t count on you now, it will be over.
With delegates being selected almost daily and Donald Trump tapping into his billion dollar slush fund to take his attacks against me to a level previously unheard of — I have to ask again: Will you make an urgent contribution to my campaign to defeat Donald Trump?
There are still 15 primary contests left before the convention and hundreds of delegates to be won. If I don’t have the resources to compete, you and I will have lost the greatest opportunity to change the direction of this county, and Donald Trump will surely lose to Hillary Clinton.
Personally, Senor Cruz, I believe Hitlery will crush you like a grape, if you are given that opportunity, the odds of which are about the same as hitting the Powerball lottery, then being struck by lightning on your way to pick up the check. Furthermore, I believe The Donald will destroy Hitlery in the general.
Thomas, it is that important.
So, I’ve asked my team to put together special Defeat Donald Trump links below. It will take you only a moment to make a donation, and you could help change the direction of our nation.
I know I don’t say this enough — so let me say it again…thank you!
I cannot imagine where I’d be without you.
Do the Cruzbots actually fall for this shit, Senor?