“Ladies and Gentlemen, tonight’s main event features the Fake News team, CNN and Light Loafers Acosta versus rookie father and son team, The Dons, in a single round submission contest.

Gentlemen, and Mr. Acosta, keep it clean and may the best team win.

For those of you following tonight’s main event on pay-per-view, enjoy the action as our announcers, Bob “Death Grip” Stevens and Ice Lombardi cover the sure-to-be-brutal contest.”

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Ding! Ding! Ding!

“Acosta tags the logo and attempts a moonsault against the old man. Looks more like ballet to me, Ice. Very gay!”

“Entering the ring, Donald Trump Jr. Ohhhhhhh! Nasty piledriver by Trump. Acosta is down, begging for mercy.”

“OUUUUUCH! Dear God! Junior with the facebuster. Acosta is finished!