Here’s wishing you all the merriest Christmas ever and the breast of everything in 2018!
You will likely not see the latest titillating holiday fashion trend in Wal Mart, but then again, who knows, there are some crazy mofos out there. I’ve seen the pics!
So, ladies, why not step out during the holidays and dress up one of your funbags? It’s the latest rage. (Do NOT do this in Minnesota. Franken is everywhere)
A takeoff of the hideous Christmas sweater phenomenon, women are decorating their bare breasts to resemble popular Christmas figures. While Rudolph the red-nosed mammary gland appears to be the most popular boob design, Frosty the Snowjug is catching on fast, as well as jolly St. Knockers himself.
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Pre-made versions of the sweaters (with strategic cut-outs) are being sold on Etsy by Salt Lake-based retailer YourSassyGrandma.
“If you want to stand out at your Ugly Sweater Party, burlesque show or even just to have a fun night in your bedroom, then this reindeer is for you!!” reads one description.
Each sweater comes with adhesive “eyes” and glittery reindeer “nose.” Some women modeled their “reindeer boob sweaters” on Instagram, with eye-popping results.
These sweaters are not recommended for family Christmas or New Year’s parties. Unless you want an eyeful.
Men can get in on the nip-tastic action too.
After Christmas and New Year’s, you can recycle your “reindeer boob sweater” for Halloween if it’s not too cold where you live.
And when summer rolls around again, don’t forget the MAGA bikini phenom, which took the nation by storm this year.
— Conservative News (@BIZPACReview) July 17, 2017