By Thomas Madison
Crooked Canadian Cruz didn’t lose enough last night. He is doubling down today. He made his VP choice and it is fellow perennial loser, Carly Fiorina.
The Crooked Canadian sent me a swell email, describing what an “honor and privilege” it is to be working with such a proven loser. Check out The Canadian’s email, below, and my sincere reply.
Now that Canadian Cruz has driven the final nail in his political coffin, may his stock continue to tank like Hewlett-Packard’s when Carly was at the helm.
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I wanted you to be the first to know.
It’s my honor and privilege to introduce you to Carly Fiorina – the next Vice President of the United States.
Carly and I are about to go on stage to make this important announcement official, but I wanted you – one of my closest and most loyal supporters – to hear it from me first.
As you get to know Carly like I have – I know you will agree that she is the right person and ready to accept this enormous responsibility on behalf of the American people.
Carly is a Leader: a leader who understands that power never has and never will come from the government – it comes from the people. A leader who knows the principles of the Declaration and the Constitution because she has lived them – a life dedicated to the dignity of work, of our right to pursue our wildest aspirations – and to help others do the same.
Carly is a Fighter: a fighter who terrifies Hillary, and she will do the same to our enemies. Carly will fight for the American people with an unbreakable purpose of protecting every one of their rights and ensuring we hand our children and grandchildren a better America than the one before us today.
Carly has a record of Accomplishment: a record of both personal and professional accomplishment, Carly was the first woman to lead a Fortune 50 business, and she did it during the worst technology recession in 25 years. Carly saved 80,000 jobs and grew the company to 160,000 jobs.
With Carly fighting alongside me – I’m more energized than ever to win this nomination, defeat Hillary Clinton, and to reignite liberty in America.
Today more than ever – at this pivotal moment – I need to know if you will stand with Carly and me to defeat Donald Trump and capture our party’s nomination.
What you and I do today will literally determine the course of our nation for years, even decades, to come.
Friend, I am personally asking you for your support today. To win – I must have your financial support.
If we don’t act today, it’s over…
Please — we need you with right now.
In advance, Carly, Heidi, and I thank you from the bottom of our hearts for your support.
Do all you can. We’re all counting on you.
You have made a fine VP selection. Carly fits you perfectly. She has advertised her record as Hewlett-Packard CEO as the reason she would make a splendid choice for president.
Really? Not only did Carly make a disaster of her job as HP chief, after her catastrophic purchase of Compaq, which lost huge piles of money for the computer giant and it’s shareholders, she was summarily fired by the board for her money-losing performance. Please, don’t take my word for it. Read what Fortune magazine had to say.
I am not exactly a Barbara Boxer fan, but she is spot on in this tweet she posted today….
I predict that the latest @CarlyFiorina merger will be as successful as her last one.
— Barbara Boxer (@BarbaraBoxer) April 27, 2016
A CEO’s #1 responsibility is PROFIT! Of course, you wouldn’t know that, having never held an executive position in your life. And please don’t trot out the decades of parasitic government jobs you have had as proof of your vast executive experience.
You see, Ted, not only have you not had ANY executive experience whatsoever, you have had ZERO executive experience of the kind America truly needs today – P&L leadership, with an emphasis on the “P,” you know, the kind that has made Donald Trump a multi-gazillionaire.
Government jobs do NOT provide P&L experience! Private sector CEO’s must compete, they must be brilliant innovators in order to generate revenue and profit. Government is a monopoly. All government parasites have to do is raise taxes to generate revenue. What kind of genius does that take?
I have to admit, Carly does have executive P&L experience. Well, at least the “L” part. Your choice for veep is a proven loser, like you. You should be very proud!
So, exactly why did you choose Carly, anyway? Is she doing a little bankrolling of your nosediving campaign? This is the first letter you have sent me not outright begging for money. I appreciate that.
It seems no matter how many times I mark your emails as spam, they keep coming through anyway. Maybe I need a Canadian filter.
Sincerely (and I mean that),