My campaign promise should I be elected President of the United States….

“I do solemnly swear to make my first foreign visit to the nation of Antigua and Barbuda, a single nation named for its two major islands.

Furthermore, I swear to visit the island of Antigua first and Barbuda second in accordance with Democrat Party foreign state visit protocol.

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While fully recognizing that the United States has practically no national interest in the tiny Caribbean nation, I believe that US political tradition is sacrosanct. Yes, We the People have far greater national interest in maintaining close ties to Russia. However, alphabet protocol requires a Year Four official state visit to the Asian superpower. My State Department will be in early negotiations with the Russian Foreign Ministry to accomplish a temporary name change to “Aardvark” that a Year One official state visit might be scheduled. This I do solemnly swear, so help me, God.”

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