My campaign promise should I be elected President of the United States….

“I do solemnly swear to make my first foreign visit to the nation of Antigua and Barbuda, a single nation named for its two major islands.

Furthermore, I swear to visit the island of Antigua first and Barbuda second in accordance with Democrat Party foreign state visit protocol.

While fully recognizing that the United States has practically no national interest in the tiny Caribbean nation, I believe that US political tradition is sacrosanct. Yes, We the People have far greater national interest in maintaining close ties to Russia. However, alphabet protocol requires a Year Four official state visit to the Asian superpower. My State Department will be in early negotiations with the Russian Foreign Ministry to accomplish a temporary name change to “Aardvark” that a Year One official state visit might be scheduled. This I do solemnly swear, so help me, God.”

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