By Thomas Madison

My understanding is that honorary titles are bestowed upon honorees by dignitaries with the proper credentials to bestow said honor. For example an honorary degree is awarded by a university president. Not so for King Hussein. He bestows honorary titles upon himself.

At a joint White House press conference last Friday with Italian Prime Minister, Matteo Renzi, Barrack Hussein proudly accepted the title of Honorary Italian, which he proudly presented to himself. Announcing his new title, The One declared:

“Italy, of course, is one of our closest and strongest allies.  And any time Italians and Americans get together it’s also a chance to celebrate the deep bonds of history and friendship and family.  As I’ve said before, I’m not lucky enough to have any Italian ancestry that I know of — but I consider myself an honorary Italian because I love all things Italian.  And the United States would not be what we are or who we are without the contributions of generations of Italian Americans.”

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It is rumored that the White House staff is busy this week with travel plans for Great Britain where it is believed that Barrack Hussein will crown himself Honorary Queen of England, followed by a brief ceremony during which the new queen will knight himself.