Powdered Wig Society

by Thomas Madison

My fellow Americans, everything is great, blah, blah. I am the, blah, king. Lie, lie, blah, blah, lie, dodge responsibility, someone else did it, lie, blah, lie lie, look at me. I’m tired. I need a blah, blah, vacation. Lie, blah, lie, blah, blah, lie. Bush was an idiot who left our country in a, blah, shambles, but I have it completely, blah, straightened out, blah, now. Lie, lie, blah, blah, lie, lie, dodge, evade, lie, lie, lie, blah, lie. Please don’t bow yet, blah. I’m not finished, blah, blah. Oh, you were just throwing up. OK then. Security, blah, blah, arrest the vomiters! Lie, lie, blah, lie, lie, no fainting please. Anyone have a mirror, blah? I need to kiss me. Iran is peaceful, blah. Lie, lie, blah, blah, lie, lie. Israel is a murderous bunch of infidel, blah, blah, scum! Allahu Akbhar! Lie, lie, blah, lie. Ignore the blah, ICBMs Iran is building. They are meant for Israel, blah, blah, lie. What’s that you say? Iran doesn’t need ICBMs to blah, blah, hit Israel? Whatever. Lie, lie, blah, lie, lie. Obamacare is continuing to save the blah, world. You can bow now. Stop vomiting or I will blah, blah, have you audited and arrested. Benghazi is a myth, blah. No one died there. It was all just a blah, blah, video. Lie, blah, blah, lie, lie, blah, lie, dodge, evade, lie some more, blah, lie again, lie, lie, lie. I finally have unemployment blah, at 2%, which is much better blah, than the 74% it was when blah, Bush was President. Lie, lie, blah, lie, lie. But I will keep working for the American blah, people until the unemployment rate is -400%, meaning every blah, American will have four blah, jobs, including toddlers and people too old to even eat blah, apple sauce. Giggle, giggle, giggle. I crack myself up, blah. Stop dry heaving, blah. Lie, lie, lie, blah, dodge, evade, lie, lie, blah, blah, lie, lie. Gas blah, prices are finally at $1.00, just like I promised, blah. OK, so that will only buy blah, a shot glass full. Whatever! Suck it up. I don’t have to blah, pay for my own gas, blah, so I would like to say I feel your pain, blah, but I don’t, so stop blah, whining. Hey, you! You are not blah, bowing!! Security, apprehend that insolent scum, blah! Lie, lie, lie. Good night and blah, blah, as my good friend and mentor, Jeremiah Wright, is so fond of saying, blah, “GODDAMN America!!”